I Want To Be A Succubat
So, I have a complicated relationship with not just my own queerness, but also being a part of the furry community. I’ve spent a hell of a long time in the closet; I didn’t let myself explore my gender feelings or my sexuality until a few years ago. Aside from talking to some other furries and going to a local meetup or two when I was in high school, I’ve never let myself be an active part of the community. I would just lurk on the outskirts, looking at art with a burner account, not really interacting with anyone. Basically I let fear and anxiety control a lot of my behavior throughout my life; whether it was not being honest with myself about my sexuality, my discontent with my gender assigned at birth, or letting myself openly like things that I actually fucking liked.
I vaguely remember seeing the Succubat transformation sequences that Or-Fi-S drew years ago, and at the time I thought they were cool, like I did with a lot of transformation art, but I didn’t read any of the factoids posted along with them or the story that Vyruem wrote. Looking back at these sequences now, and sitting down to read The Only Constant, they hit like a brick. An affirming and inspiring brick, but a brick non the less.
The quick pitch for the succubats and other hive symbiotes is that they’re neat looking little creatures that act as a transformation catalyst. Succubats latch onto an asymbiotic(someone without symbiosis) person, and turn them into a symbiont(a host), leaving them with a rockin succubusesque body, and evening out brain chemistry stuff like depression, anxiety, and even gender dysphoria. While the symbiosis doesn’t completely remove some of those mental barriers, it does make them way more manageable for the symbiont to deal with. Symbiotes don’t overwrite or replace anyone through symbiosis; symbionts aren’t some depraved sex demon or mindless monster, they’re just better, more authentic versions of themselves. Society either keeps symbionts at arms length, or actively persecutes them; all just for looking different, or some might say monstrous. I’ll include a link to the Hive Symbiote primer that Or-Fi-S made here, just in case anyone would like to read a bit more about the symbiotes or look at any of the sequences fae drew. In case y’all reading haven’t picked up on it yet, the hive symbiotes are an allegory for being a transgender person, but also very broadly being queer as well.
I genuinely think that the succubat symbionts look sick as hell. Seeing the variations of all the different symbionts is cool, and it mirrors how varied gender expression is in real life; there isn’t just one “correct” way to transition or express your gender. I also enjoy a lot of the humor in some of these sequences, especially this comic. While I do really like all the art Or-Fi-S made, I also really enjoyed reading the story that Vyruem wrote.
In the afterward for The Only Constant, Vy talks about how the project started off being about grief and their own negative feelings about the succubats, but then eventually turned into more of a story about self exploration using asym and succubat Vy. Vyruem also claims that The Only Constant isn’t art, which I personally think is bullshit. Art isn’t something that is devoid of messiness or personal baggage, it doesn’t come from a vacuum, and I find that allowing yourself to be vulnerable can lead to making something that other people can connect with. I love how earnest The Only Constant is. I love how fucking messy Vy is and I love how the end of the story is so goddamn hopeful. I also see a lot of my younger self in asym Vy, and I also have this hopefulness for my own future going forward.
I’ve been kicking around the idea of writing a story vaguely based on my own relationship to my queerness and gender using the hive symbiote/galactic maid setting that Or-Fi-S created. I’m also inspired by how much The Only Constant clicked with me. But who knows if I’ll follow through with it. What I’ll definitely say though is I’m planning on commissioning Or-Fi-S to draw a succubat transformation sequence for myself once I have my fursona figured out, and a reference ready to go.
I guess what I’m trying to say by writing this is, thank you. Finding art that I emotionally resonate with like the succubats and The Only Constant fucking rules. It’s really awesome seeing not just them, but all the people who’ve commissioned sequences or added their own writing to that world. Seeing this sort of collaboration is really inspiring. While I found these characters and this story after I already started transitioning, I still found them really affirming. I hope that by being vulnerable, loud and proud about who I am, and maybe even a bit messy or rough around the edges, I can help people feel confident to do the same, like how Or-Fi-S and Vyruem have done for me. Sometimes working through your shit by making art is all you can do, and if it resonates with others that’s great, but it’s okay if it just acts as a sign that you were here too.
TLDR: The succubats look sick as hell and I want to be one. Thanks for being earnest, vulnerable, and visible. Tell people who've made something you like how much you like it. Hopefully you all will see stuff that I make in the future.
P.S. I originally posted this to Cohost on 8.29.24, and have reposted it here in preparation for that site going read only, and then offline later this year.